My kind of Love..
I am a woman, 28 and single living in a country where i am often asked "Are you not planning to get married?", "You should marry at the right age!", "You should have kids at the right age", "You won't find anyone as you grow older", "Don't you like guys?", "Now start looking out, get married in a year", "Your parents might be worried", "You are short, you are plump, start looking out now, it might take time to find someone and for someone to like you", "You would need a companion for life, you can't stay alone forever", "You should find someone who will be able to live with you"..Well i try not to take offense of these words. But i keep wondering, why doesn't anyone speak of love? Why is love never ever mentioned? How is that not a priority in a marriage? And why are we so selfish?
Reasons to get married from what i understand from the above is -
1) we need security - financial, emotional, mental and we need somebody else to provide that to us. 2) Being alone is really boring. (If you get bored with yourself, how are you going to keep the husband entertained? If you cannot stand yourself, how is someone else going to?) 3) You need to be in a "socially acceptable" to be eligible for getting married and getting married makes you socially acceptable. (who cares if you are miserable in the marriage, you are socially accepted)
Where is the Love? Where is the Passion? Where is the Madness for someone? I don't see it and it bothers me. That is not my kind of love.
Financial, mental, emotional dependence is not the reason i want to marry. I can earn and sustain my own living and i don't need a man for that, thank you very much! Being single and alone is also not the reason i want to marry. I pretty much love and enjoy my own company, spend endless hours doing things i love. I can travel, read, write, swim, cook, take beautiful photographs of people, see and be in the wonder of beauty around me, watch stars and the moon all night and be all by myself. I can go on living my entire life alone and not be bored for a minute.
My kindof love is the one that doesn't understand the reasons why degrees, money, family background, how many houses or cars a person owns has anything to do with falling in love or getting married to someone.
My kindof love is the one that makes you feel alive, it is the one that makes you smile when you are alone.
It is the one that loves you truly, spoils you and yet when needed is brutally honest to you.
It is the one where you inspire the other and the other inspires you.
It is the one that helps you open your heart after you are wounded and you help open theirs.
It is the one that gives you the courage to love again.
It is the one that makes you grow together.
It is the one that makes you stay true to yourself and be what you are without an apology.
It is the one that makes you want the other be true to himself too.
It is the one that makes all your senses active and wants you to breathe in deep because you realize how beautiful it is and cherish every moment of it.
It is the one that makes you fearless, strong and courageous.
It is the one that lets you be vulnerable.
It is the one that lets you cry and gives you their shoulder and t-shirt to wipe your tears and nose on.
It is the one that helps you get back on your legs and walk again.
It is the one that wants you to live your life to the fullest.
It is the one where you love and accept each other unconditionally.
It is the one where your darkest secrets are not judged.
It is the one where you feel grateful about having each other every single day of your life.
It is the one that holds you. It is the one that cuddles, loves you, kisses you hopelessly and passionately.
It is the one where i seduce and be seduced.
It is the one that brings you alive with that slightest touch.
It is the one that looks into your eyes and says that he would never turn your back to you no matter what.
It is the one that wants to marry you too.
It is the one that doesn't need the other to complete you. It needs the other to complete a relationship
It is the one that you want to grow old with.
It is the one where we hold each others hands even when we turn unattractive, even when all mystery is gone, even when your face fills with freckles.
It is the one when all our teeth fallen in old age and we still look at each other like we are 16 year olds hopelessly in love. Even then we hold each others hands and walk slowly, peacefully, lovingly.
I want to get married to this kindof love. Not because i need somebody or i am lonely. I am not lonely. But because i have so much joy inside me that i want to share it with my kindof love. I want to share that passion and the appetite i have for my life. I want to love madly, crazily, hopelessly. I want to share that sense of wonder about life. I want to explore life with him. I want to be myself and let him be what he is and live together and love together.. and make babies whom we would teach how to live fearlessly, love even after being wounded, be good human beings and teach them to open their hearts and minds even after being smashed, crumpled, stamped on, even after all the hope in the world has died. I want us to teach them to love in our kindof a way, the God kindof way. And i don't mind if it takes me ages to find my kindof love. Or for my kindof love to be ready for me. I am in no hurry. But if and when i marry, this would be it. Totally worth the wait. And I am not giving up or running away anywhere! :)
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